Saturday, May 23, 2009

Power of Positive

Reading a Cosmo that someone left at work the other day, I came across that one article that they publish every three or four issues about being lucky.
Power of Positive Thinking Everyone!
And that typo I just made, that one where I typed "Power or Positive Thinging?"
That's much more exactly what I'm going to try for the mo'.
Positive things for the day? Cleaning the house, doing the dishes, looking good when I go to work.
Maybe I'll buy some flowers for the table too.
I'm hoping that positive things will make me happier without changing my situation in any real way. I am happier when I come home to a clean house.
It makes me more confident, where if I don't have a clean house, I feel like I'm hiding something. I can't bring someone home without some warning. This way my house is presentable for everyone all the time.

Ok, here's a little secret: Since it's Memorial Day Weekend a lot of people have gone away, and all the people who hadn't gone away were doing other things last night, so I just watched a movie and went to bed. Thinking negatively, that makes me very sad about the state of my Friday. I'm trying to think about it as simply another day. That would have been a completely nice Tuesday. No reason for Friday to have that connotation that I have to drink and socialize and "Party" even though I feel better about myself and feel better in the morning when I, you know- Don't.

Anyway, that's the plan. I'd better get to cleaning the fridge now, so I have enough time to get pretty for work!

Friday, May 15, 2009


In fairytales they always tell you when you have wishes. Very explicitly, even.
"Now, I will grant you THREE WISHES!"

I think it would be much more fun if they didn't tell you.
Today I was in the kitchen fixing a snack, and I said to myself, "Where is that canned fruit? Oh yeah. I ate it."
I puttered around some more looking in the refrigerator and the cabinets and said,
"I wish I had more canned fruit."



I wonder how many more I have to go?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Worry. I has it.

I am feeling bad, right in the middle of my stomach right now. Not sick. That wouldn't be remarkable, but this isn't sickness it's guilt? I think. Guilt for what?
I don't really know why. Maybe it's worry? Am I worried about my job, and the fact that it is so frustrating? Maybe. Yes. I am. I am also worried about my two classes other than Psychology. I am worried that I wrote a really bad essay for my Judaism class, and I don't know what I got on my Latin American music midterm, but I bet it wasn't very good. I have that feeling.
I feel worried about what I am going to do this summer, I am worried that Stephen, who used to be a good friend of mine, but who I haven't seen in two weeks, will become one of those people that I can't even talk to anymore because we suddenly stopped talking, and it's been too long and we just can't manage to start talking again.
That worries me.

There are some things I'm looking forward to, though. I am looking forward to seeing Lael this weekend. I am always looking forward to going home and snuggling with my cat. I am really looking forward to seeing Rebecca and spending a few days in that weird different world of Rebecca-dom. I think maybe I will just go talk to Meredith, then go to bed and wake up tomorrow when everything is better. Maybe?

Thursday, May 7, 2009


My strong suit? Not really, especially not in the realm of relationships with other people. Those are illogical to the extreme.
i.e. Last night I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a while. Really, we aren't that close at all. He was holding hands with a girl. I had no idea he was dating someone! (Public handholding points to that, right? I haven't been single so long that I've forgotten everything about dating right?) Not that I care, I'm glad he's happy. But damn it! If he's got a girlfriend...

Does everyone else I know have secret girlfriends too?

And then my other friend has this lab partner. We always knew that he liked her, but my friend seemed pretty apathetic. And yesterday, what do I find? There has been kissing. Now, I don't know about hand-holding but I'm pretty sure I remember something about kissing.

Again, I am thrilled for her. Just... surprised.

So now logic follows that since these two people have secret (from me) little lovers that the young man for whom I hold a small flame must have a secret girlfriend. That is why I haven't heard from him in a week. Obviously. Not because he has ridiculous amounts of studying to do, not because of midterms. Secret Girlfriend!

Because that's how logic works, right?